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01 March 2006 @ 11:47 pm
"I want a cat!"  
I am turning into Winston Churchill. This would be worrying were it not for the totality, which suggests I'll soon be at the point where I can dispense snappy one-liners like "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it," or "He is a modest little man, with much to be modest about."

Actually, wait. I am getting there, since I now talk in class, because eloquence is pointless if you don't use it (there I am, four months behind, as usual), and terrify and stun the people around me. Part of this is their fault-- how could I be the only person in class who knows what a portcullis is?! My poor professor only wanted an answer to "What's a portcullis" and I didn't even see any clicks of recognition. By the time my answer began to involve pulleys, everyone was effectively out. For the motherfuckin' win. I'm still appalled, but it was kind of cool to bust that shit out. I finally know why I think it's so neat-- it's a very unequivocal thing, it lets you say, "Look, this is [insert term here] and it does [insert function here]. I rule the world, what?" That's like drugs, although arguably more time-consuming and expensive.

I should start buying those warhead candies so I'll stop drinking schnapps because I want something sour. Except not because I'm turning into Winston Churchill, sans problem shoulders.

I look at all this and it's cryptic. Abominably cryptic. I talk a lot and say nothing and it's so irritating. I mean, I knew I did that for a long time, but now I feel like I'm banging my head into a wall here, doing this. Of course, that's all I can do here, to be candid without being specific, which is why I did some not-really-that-clever-at-all sidestepping. Ultimately I have no one but myself to blame for this head-banging feeling, since I am here to prove the dumbest point known to man. I just realized too late that this was in fact a less-good habit than I'd previously thought. It was like my whole life was under scrutiny and needing evasiveness lest someone hear me and do something awful, hence this constant hedging; as much as melodrama would like me to say it, never has my whole life been under surveillance (Just most of it? Was that over the top? Maybe. Maybe not. Eh). Oh, introspection. You always make me sound depressed and you came at too high s price. To wrap this up on a better note...your MOM! Bahahahaha!
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Blink 182- What's My Age Again?