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filthy assistant
30 January 2006 @ 03:56 am
I can be so, so callow sometimes it surprises me. But in a good way. At least now I remember why I mod, in some sense.

Also, I have not laughed so hard in a while.

This is...short. I am developing an allergy to electronic forms of communication, slowly but surely. This might in fact be a good thing-- fewer distractions-- but I suppose I shall simply have to find out in the course of time.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Moby- At Least We Tried
filthy assistant
06 January 2006 @ 05:57 pm
Which annoying fan are you?

brought to you by Quizilla
Uh, w00t? I got nothin' except for meme spam. So I'm gonna go and probably see Hostel, because a torture-factory movie is cool enough, but one done by Tarantino? Muy bizarro.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Everclear- Amphetamine
filthy assistant
26 December 2005 @ 02:45 am
What I don't understand is what the fuck...would possess anyone to do that?

Well, okay, I comprehend it but I can't say as I'll ever understand.

And that kind of gives me the warm fuzzies.

EDIT: Disturbing thought. In a way, I am just as weird. Not evil, that's some consolation, but too fucking stubborn for my own good. I can live with "not evil" and "not sick" and call it a day, though.
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Eve 6- Hokis
filthy assistant
13 December 2005 @ 10:29 pm

Oh Great Cthulhu!

I have been an extremely sedulous devotee this year.

When the stars were right, I stopped [info]befall from defiling Lovecraft's grave (-20 points). In October, I made a burnt offering to the Dead Dreamer (100 points). In May, I exposed [info]maimocles to soul-rending horrors (250 points). In December, I fed [info]social_d to a Shoggoth (250 points). In August, I legally changed my name to Randolph Carter (-40 points). In November, I sacrificed [info]therealtwistex to Cthulhu (500 points).

In short, I have been very good (1040 points) and deserve to be promoted to High Priest.

Your humble and obedient servant,

Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!

Name some friends or leave them blank and let me look them up myself:
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: Electric Six- Synthesizer
filthy assistant
08 December 2005 @ 03:52 am
Reason #351 why it's good to be me: I sign onto facebook, see I have a party invite, click on it, and it's for a New Year's party called "Kiss ME I'm SHITFACED," hosted by none other than Chris Kerns.

This made me laugh uproariously, because I haven't been able to hear "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" without at least snickering since May, the last time Kerns had a party. I think I might have to go just so I can tease him about the name. Seriously, that's both the funniest thing I have heard in a long time and eerie proof that, true to our coversations about airports and floating hot tubs and the basketball team in high school, we do indeed share a brain.

Gawd. My brain is such a whore. Alas, Iago, my lord hath so bewhored her.

Something else random: I never, ever thought I would be making an entry starting (or even containing) anything like this one. Y'know, lists of reason why people's lives rock are fun and great and all, but I never really felt the vibe. Now, though, there are a multitude of reasons it's good to be me: finals are almost over, people are coming home for the holidays and I'm going to see them left and right, I've been making plans for an awesome post-exams night out with locals, in the last couple of days I've realized just how many people I've managed to hold onto over the years (This one gives a +2 because it allows me to call bullshit on something that is...well, bullshit), school is coming together because I found my niche, and I have this completely amazing human being I can call my boyfriend. I mean, whoa. I would go so far as to call all of this "t3h r0x0r."

Finally, before I run off to bed, I want to congratulate Shy and Wolfie on getting married, because they're both fantastic people to work with and deserve all the happiness in the world. Also, they had a ninja wedding. The stealh was way impressive. The thread saying "btw married" was just hilarious. Hurray Wolfie and Shy!
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: DKM- Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced
filthy assistant
07 December 2005 @ 01:32 am
Dear Whoever Keeps Stomping Up and Down Our Hallway:

Please knock it off. I understand that not everyone can be silent like a ninja, but footfalls sounding like Cuchulain is making them are not appreciated. Please try not to shake the walls while in transit; it's a difficult thing to master but most everyone manages to learn the finer points by late grade school. If need be, I will somehow trip-wire you and make you go stand in the corner. The same applies to Whoever Keeps Running Through the Upstairs Corridor While Carrying Heavy Weights and Boy Who Shares a Wall With Me and Likes to Turn His Bass Up Loud Enough to Be Really Irritating. Further infractions on any of these parts will result in swift and terrible justice. Kthx bai.

Seriously. Especially pre-finals, no one needs this, and it's probably part of the reason we all emigrated from the dorms. Show a wee bit of class and consideration, would you? If I knew who any of these people were, I would totally go to their apartment and throw heavy objects at the door. Like watermelons. Or small boulders. Or unwanted tacky bibelots. Or really, really big knives. Maybe, for the sake of being insulting, I would bend my weight restrictions to allow flaming bags of dog poo. Contemplating aggravated assault via conflagrated fecal retaliation (Now that was a good one, that's fridge-worthy right there) tells me just how badly I need this holiday. It also reminds me I have lost track of an entire week again because I've been effin' swamped and in no real position to contact anybody socially, since the point would be moot and I'd be speaking Braindead anyway. Grrargle.
Current Mood: annoyedvexed
Current Music: Escaflowne OST- Blue Sky
filthy assistant
06 December 2005 @ 04:13 pm
I would like to take this time to formally declare my undying love for architects, contractors, and all you clever engineery types.

Without you, we would have no buildings with heating and all that good stuff, meaning we'd all be outside in this frozen wasteland some people call Colorado. 70 degrees to FROSTY DOOM in 2.5 weeks. Subtle, our weather ain't. Enjoyable, it ain't either, but that's more the having to stand outside for long periods of time waiting for the Buff Bus because they feel an obscure need to strand people, then bring in two or maybe even three buses at the same time. The local meth dealer must be doing a brisk trade from all the dispatcher-type people. Although there's always a mad rush for the moving pod of warmth that will one day-- I maintain and possibly kind of hope-- result in a trampling, the people on the bus today were nice enough to condense themselves as much as possible so as to fit people on. It was one of those random acts of kindness that all those bumper stickers talk about. Except better, because there were a lot of people in on it. As Denis Leary would say, the kind of thing that warms the cockles of your heart. Sort of like the slew of Santa-letter memes that show up when I open my friends' page. I'm nto sure how many of those I'm responsible for, directly or by proxy, but it feels like I started a meme flood and boy does it amuse me. Mostly because said flood involves benevolent/evil dictatorships of places like Asscrackistan or Duluth, Minnesota, and a lot of petty theft and organ donation (I picture here The Meaning of Life, and that is hysterical). I'm totally going to end up doing some of the other memes in circulation, but those are for later when I am burnt-out to an even higher degree and procrastinating. For now, I leave with a sentence that is deceptively evil and cackle-inducing: Fortunate that you don't have either, then.

Hurr hurr. XD
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Squeeze- Take Me I'm Yours
filthy assistant
06 December 2005 @ 01:38 am
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Saturday I signed my organ donor card (28 points). In June I helped therealtwistex see the light (8 points). Last Friday I helped kippege across the street (6 points). Last month sammythewire and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). In March I put money in sillypirate's expired parking meter (14 points).

Overall, I've been nice (67 points). For Christmas I deserve a new dolly!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Hurr hurr meme, especially Keith's role in it. Irony's gonna fall from the sky like an anvil one of these days. Assuming of course finals don't become one giant (meta)physical mass and crush us all first. Oh God so much to do and so little time and they're all early exams and ack! I bloody well need the time off, though, because this semester has been relentless in every possible way. So far, I'm planning to bake cookies, learn Cripple Mr. Onion and have Adam over for death pints, see as many people who are coming back for the holidays as possible, vegetate a whole bunch, cook awesome dinner at least twice, visit as many of our minty-fresh new modlings as possible when I got to New York, orchestrate my first non-craptacular birthday ever (For my 21st, might as well; my other ones have consisted of either other people doing what they want or forgetting altogether. Not big mental scarring, but I feel I should buck the trend this time), finish making the road-cone coffee table, see a whole bunch of movies, bake brownies, and generally squeeze every bit of tasty recreational goodness out of every day until I go back to killing myself with work. Oh, and hijacking a few days immediately post-final to watch movies/be silly/just plain hang out with Matt. 'Cause he's awesome and we finally won't have Important School Things To Do. Ooo, and because I have my copy of Fight Club sitting on my desk and I keep seeing it, maybe I shall make soap. S'fun, although I won't be blowing anything up with it. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: The Photo Atlas- Handshake Heart Attack
filthy assistant
04 December 2005 @ 04:58 pm
Watched Clerks last night. Have come to the conclusion that were Veronica and Randal to fuse into one unholy being, it would be me. I am saddened by this because being Randal means you don't often get a Randal of your own to be the voice of reason, but heartened by the fact that at least there's no Dante in there anywhere. Watching it now that I've had film studies and a lot of theory and time to become what at least resembles a thoroughgoing professional makes it kind of awakward, because I want to like Dante, but the point of it all is that he's a main character you shouldn't like. He's kind of lackluster and while that allows a lot of points to be made, you wouldn't want to hang out with him because he is exactly what Randal tells him he is. The whole movie is spent watching a guy you don't even like, and while that's instructive, it leaves you feeling a little depressed, maybe a little like knocking someone around (see also: corporeal curse/mini-dementor effect). I still like the film, don't get me wrong, and I have recently acquired new appreciation for Silent Bob's lines, it's just occasionally dispiriting. Fucking film studies ruined one of my two favorite characters for me.

Title dictates behavior/bullshit, you dictate your behavior. I am currently chewing this over because I had to run off to the study room to get any work done (Sometimes, I can't work in my apartment; you all know how that goes, I'm sure) and had a WillVill moment. I just spent a few minutes cleaning up the study room, which was scattered with food, which provoked in turn a Lord Vetinari moment because I bloody well know where it came from. Some days, I find it a wonder I don't actually read minds or predict the future. I'm sure there's a good explanation for this, but damned if I have it so sometimes it feels like omniscience. At any rate, title dictating behavior would explain why I always find myself doing this, but me dictating my behavior would explain why I'm pissed off about it but did it anyway because I don't want to be working in a shithole. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a big science experiment, although I can't tell if I'm the subject or the one running it. Or possibly-- and this is probably the best metaphor for the feeling of overwhelming defeat that looms up now and again-- I know there's an experiment, and I have been entrusted with running it by the nice scientists, but it's really only a smaller section of a big experiment I don't know about or control in any way. I'd throw in an H2G2 reference here, but actually, I kind of fucking hate the whole fandom, at least since the movie came out. Well, wait, no, before that too. The books are funny but people take them way too seriously and you know what, fuck that. And that was quite the digression but it somehow lifted a burden off me to spit in geekdom's face like that. A small burden, yeah, but any burden at all being gone helps at the present time.
Current Mood: rejectedrejected
Current Music: Seal- Loves Divine
filthy assistant
03 December 2005 @ 08:08 am
Jello shots and beer are both wonderful things, but when they come over all stale, not so much.

Rather, picture waking up and you've had a lot of both and your mouth kind of tastes like them, only not so fresh and enjoyable as they're now several hours old. Euuurgh, yeah? Anyway, went out tonight (obviously) knowing that my instinct to stay home and kick the holy living hell out of myself was indeed quite bad. Best decision I've made in a long time. It was a blast. Seeing Nick again and getting my long-lost sweater back was great, and the party itself was basically the shit. I knew Sandra and Leah from high school in that vague way; everyone else, I knew by proxy because this is Boulder and it's a clusterfuck. Priya and I spent a good chunk of time discussing that, when I wasn't having sudden-death-tie beer pong matches or instigating makeouts with the British chappie (That sounds...bad. Really it was that we were like the little devils what go *poof* on your shoulder and telling people to go be uncivilized. We're good). Adam now has a standing invitation to forsake Libby whenever and come party/crash here. He is marvelous fun and we get on quite well. Insofar as is possible for having known each other a very short time, we are drinking mates of the first order. Apparently I'm sarcastic enough to make facebook, and all I did this time was refer to Australia as "a giant prison," which is what it fuckin' well is. I'm also Boulder enough to be called upon when Priya goes drinking with some of the other girls. All in all, it was a great night and I'll probably edit this to contain a little more later, after I've slept off the very last.

There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college.
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: The Police- Wrapped Around Your Finger