Watched Clerks last night. Have come to the conclusion that were Veronica and Randal to fuse into one unholy being, it would be me. I am saddened by this because being Randal means you don't often get a Randal of your own to be the voice of reason, but heartened by the fact that at least there's no Dante in there anywhere. Watching it now that I've had film studies and a lot of theory and time to become what at least resembles a thoroughgoing professional makes it kind of awakward, because I want to like Dante, but the point of it all is that he's a main character you shouldn't like. He's kind of lackluster and while that allows a lot of points to be made, you wouldn't want to hang out with him because he is exactly what Randal tells him he is. The whole movie is spent watching a guy you don't even like, and while that's instructive, it leaves you feeling a little depressed, maybe a little like knocking someone around (see also: corporeal curse/mini-dementor effect). I still like the film, don't get me wrong, and I have recently acquired new appreciation for Silent Bob's lines, it's just occasionally dispiriting. Fucking film studies ruined one of my two favorite characters for me.
Title dictates behavior/bullshit, you dictate your behavior. I am currently chewing this over because I had to run off to the study room to get any work done (Sometimes, I can't work in my apartment; you all know how that goes, I'm sure) and had a WillVill moment. I just spent a few minutes cleaning up the study room, which was scattered with food, which provoked in turn a Lord Vetinari moment because I bloody well know where it came from. Some days, I find it a wonder I don't actually read minds or predict the future. I'm sure there's a good explanation for this, but damned if I have it so sometimes it feels like omniscience. At any rate, title dictating behavior would explain why I always find myself doing this, but me dictating my behavior would explain why I'm pissed off about it but did it anyway because I don't want to be working in a shithole. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a big science experiment, although I can't tell if I'm the subject or the one running it. Or possibly-- and this is probably the best metaphor for the feeling of overwhelming defeat that looms up now and again-- I know there's an experiment, and I have been entrusted with running it by the nice scientists, but it's really only a smaller section of a big experiment I don't know about or control in any way. I'd throw in an H2G2 reference here, but actually, I kind of fucking hate the whole fandom, at least since the movie came out. Well, wait, no, before that too. The books are funny but people take them way too seriously and you know what, fuck that. And that was quite the digression but it somehow lifted a burden off me to spit in geekdom's face like that. A small burden, yeah, but any burden at all being gone helps at the present time.
Current Music: Seal- Loves Divine